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I am tired and it is late, so this post may be less than eloquent in places.
I have no idea what my gender identity is. Before I started learning more about non-binary genders, if someone asked me if I was boy or girl I would say girl. Not because that's what I felt like inside, but because I had 'girl parts'. I don't have any body dysphoria (which I am grateful for), I don't mind if people refer to me as female or use female pronouns. I present (in summer at least) as a not particularly feminine female - no make up, hair tied back (long because I just haven't bothered to get it cut for a few years), trousers all year round and a patterned top.
Thing is, I don't feel particularly like a girl. What does feeling like a girl feel like anyway? In winter I dress more like you'd expect a male to - guy hoodies and jeans, but that's mainly motivated by the fact that hoodies are warm and comfy and I like them (for more casual settings anyway.) Being in a dress or something more 'girly' makes me feel very uncomfortable - it just isn't me. I don't think I'd care if someone referred to me with male or gender neutral pronouns (except zer - it makes me think of someone saying 'their'in a dodgy non specific European accent), but it's never happened so I can't know for sure. I've never really thought about gender before - I've just felt like me, rather than 'I am me and I am female'. Is it relevant that I don't like being called a woman (I prefer female or girl).
So all in all, I have no idea if I'm cis and just not particularly girly, or I'm actually closer to agender. Can you be in between the two? Can anyone help me figure this out? What's it like to feel like a girl, boy, or neither? I don't know if a part of it is being ace (and thus not thinking of myself in a look-pretty-to-attract-someone way), or something else.
I have no idea what my gender identity is. Before I started learning more about non-binary genders, if someone asked me if I was boy or girl I would say girl. Not because that's what I felt like inside, but because I had 'girl parts'. I don't have any body dysphoria (which I am grateful for), I don't mind if people refer to me as female or use female pronouns. I present (in summer at least) as a not particularly feminine female - no make up, hair tied back (long because I just haven't bothered to get it cut for a few years), trousers all year round and a patterned top.
Thing is, I don't feel particularly like a girl. What does feeling like a girl feel like anyway? In winter I dress more like you'd expect a male to - guy hoodies and jeans, but that's mainly motivated by the fact that hoodies are warm and comfy and I like them (for more casual settings anyway.) Being in a dress or something more 'girly' makes me feel very uncomfortable - it just isn't me. I don't think I'd care if someone referred to me with male or gender neutral pronouns (except zer - it makes me think of someone saying 'their'in a dodgy non specific European accent), but it's never happened so I can't know for sure. I've never really thought about gender before - I've just felt like me, rather than 'I am me and I am female'. Is it relevant that I don't like being called a woman (I prefer female or girl).
So all in all, I have no idea if I'm cis and just not particularly girly, or I'm actually closer to agender. Can you be in between the two? Can anyone help me figure this out? What's it like to feel like a girl, boy, or neither? I don't know if a part of it is being ace (and thus not thinking of myself in a look-pretty-to-attract-someone way), or something else.
