![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Tumblr makes me really sad sometimes
Aug. 19th, 2011 12:38 amThere was an excellent post on Tumblr on the difficulties that can be faced in sexual/asexual (queer)platonic relationships, and the mismatch in importance that can arise and how it can end badly (I'm sure I'm not the only ace to have been left broken hearted after their zucchini got a romantic/sexual relationship and abandoned the friendship, leaving all the plans for the future to scatter in the winds). However, some people took it differently (incidentally prompting a follow up post from the author). One in particular caught my eye:
"as an aside, I really fucking hate being referred to as a “sexual” person in this context
call yourself whatever the fuck you want, but I never consented to this label and I find it personally gross"
I was a little curious about this, so I decided to ask what about the term 'sexual' they objected to.
morethanx asked:
You said you don't like being referred to as 'sexual' (it was on a post about mixed relationships between asexuals and non-asexuals). What would you prefer to be called?
They answered: Something that doesn’t make assumptions about my sex life because I have had sex? I don’t have a good experience with mentioning my history with sexual assault in public fora (not surprisingly, I’m guessing few women do) but I have good personal reasons to resent being referred to as “sexual.”
I don’t know what I’d rather be called. I haven’t thought about it further than “I don’t like this term and I’d rather ridiculous asexual oppression posts not show up on my dash at all” tbh.
Anyone else getting the feeling they don't understand what the word 'sexual' in this context means? Not to mention the 'the nasty asexuals are oppressing me with their feelings and talking about difficulties they face' crap. And there's something that's bothering me about the 'I didn't consent to this label' that bothers me, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Maybe they don't like that they aren't the ones applying the term to themselves.
Gah, sometimes it feels like shovelling snow while it's still snowing.
"as an aside, I really fucking hate being referred to as a “sexual” person in this context
call yourself whatever the fuck you want, but I never consented to this label and I find it personally gross"
I was a little curious about this, so I decided to ask what about the term 'sexual' they objected to.
morethanx asked:
You said you don't like being referred to as 'sexual' (it was on a post about mixed relationships between asexuals and non-asexuals). What would you prefer to be called?
They answered: Something that doesn’t make assumptions about my sex life because I have had sex? I don’t have a good experience with mentioning my history with sexual assault in public fora (not surprisingly, I’m guessing few women do) but I have good personal reasons to resent being referred to as “sexual.”
I don’t know what I’d rather be called. I haven’t thought about it further than “I don’t like this term and I’d rather ridiculous asexual oppression posts not show up on my dash at all” tbh.
Anyone else getting the feeling they don't understand what the word 'sexual' in this context means? Not to mention the 'the nasty asexuals are oppressing me with their feelings and talking about difficulties they face' crap. And there's something that's bothering me about the 'I didn't consent to this label' that bothers me, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Maybe they don't like that they aren't the ones applying the term to themselves.
Gah, sometimes it feels like shovelling snow while it's still snowing.
